Admit it. You waited too long to order the perfect gift and now it won’t get here in time for Christmas. Now all you’ve got to give on Christmas morning is a lame excuse and a flabby handshake. “Heh heh,” you’ll laugh awkwardly as you squirm in your sweaty, candy cane pajamas. “You’re just sooo hard to shop for, y’know?”

Hold it right there, Scrooge! Do you hear that bugle in the distance, you rotten gift-giver, you? That’s the sound of the New Year’s PartyCon cavalry, coming to your rescue! The perfect gift has been staring you in the face all year and it can be delivered in seconds to anywhere in the world. But best of all, it’s 20% off!

That’s right, now you can buy 3-Day passes for your wife, your kids, your Dungeon Master, your plumber, and even your mailman, all for 20% off! But you’d better act now, ’cause this deal will last about as long as holiday goodwill. It’s over on the 26th, and there will be no more sales after that.

Do you understand what that means, Burgermeister Meisterburger? It means three days of awesome movies, gaming, cosplay karaoke, LARPing and foam dart mayhem for only $32! It means starting of 2017 with amazing panels and workshops on everything from writing to movie making to building your own cosplay armor! Where else can you get a gift like that? Nowhere! So buy it now!

Good God, man, are you still reading? Are you insane? Do you hate your family and friends? Are you half Krampus?! Buy the tickets, already! Sheesh.